Monday, November 16, 2009

A Commercial Free Christmas

Christmas is six weeks away and the stress is starting to set in and while this is one of my favorite holidays, I love the reason for the season, the decorations, the songs, the attitudes and giving spirit everyone has during this time of year the thought of staying in budget and getting the perfect gifts actually puts a cloud over the holiday for me.

This year I am declaring a commercial free Christmas. I will be doing all I can to enjoy the spirit and not get caught up in the shopping frenzy. I will think of creative gift giving that will come from the heart and not just a gift because its Christmas. My hope is that by taking this approach I will enjoy the season and be delightful throughout it as being delightful is one of my life goals.

I will bake, sew, (could be scary), write, and whatever else I can think of, doing all I can to spend as little as possible and focusing on the reason for the season. My fear and hope is that my family and friends will get it and embrace the concept.

My world is filled with too many choices, too much stimuli, too much multi-tasking. (Cell phones,TV,ipods,Internet,blogging,face book,web meetings,schedules filled from the time I get up until the time I go to bed just to name a few. Right now I am watching Heroes and on the Internet. I'm at the point where I get antsy if I have any down time as it is so foreign to me. To quiet my mind and just be seems like a luxury to me and not one I am comfortable with.

What can I give up to slow my life, the idea of most modern things sounds great in theory. I shall mull this over thinking that maybe I can start slow, one thing at a time and see how it goes. My Commercial free Christmas will be my start.......I'll let you know how it goes.

If any of you have suggestions for me I welcome them!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

How different would our world be if

If we were loving and kind in our families, if we spoke to each other in a loving tone, if we showed that we wanted only the best for each family member, if we gave each other more smiles,if we gave each other more hugs, if we understood that everything starts within the family.

This is where we learn to view our world, where our frame of reference comes from. This is where we learn love, hate, pain, joy, happiness, fear, judgement, self worth, kindness, serving, hope, and many many additional things that then we take out into the world with us each and everyday.

Each of us passes forward where we are in our hearts. We smile or frown at others, we make eye contact or turn away, we reach out or push away, and we affect everyone.

Just think what our world would be like if we could step outside ourselves and not be reactive to everything going on around us. If we could speak with kindness in our voices, if we would give benefit of the doubt, if we would just smile more often to all who we come in contact with. If we would but remember the Golden Rule and take it one step further. (Do unto others as they would have us do unto them), I know it sounds strange but think about it for a minute.

We are all our own unique selves with our own personalities, likes, dislikes, backgrounds, frame of references, etc. What that says to me is that if I, (Do unto others as I would have them do unto me), I might just be missing the boat.

For example, I am a morning person and can be up and ready to go in an instant while others like to slowly start their day. This can cause a problem when there are numerous family members/friends spending time together. Just because I want to be up early and going pronto, its not fair for me to expect that of others.

Just think how different our world would be if we demonstrated what we learned as children in our homes.

Be kind to each other, help one another, smile, say please and thank you, speak to each other with a nice tone, share in each other's joy and pain and to always remember our world is what we make of it and that we leave a bit of ourselves with each person we come in contact with........leave the good part and think how different our world would be.

Looking forward to your smile next time we meet.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Imperfections

So its been a couple of weeks since I've blogged as I spent last week in San Diego with my hubby, brother Brian and his love Tina.This week I'm adjusting back to my everyday life.

I have been thinking these past two weeks that as hard as I try each day I fall short of perfection. This blog started out as my journey to lose weight and that isn't happening. Each day I am determined to be a better person then the day before, to be frugel, to eat better, to think before I react, to not judge others, to not live in fear, to be kind, to not gossip, to be a light in other's lives, to get enough sleep, to exercise, to study, to read my scriptures, to pray, to be in this world, yet not of this world.

The thing is I get caught up in the day to day everyday. Oh sure there are days I do better then others, yet I find myself coming up short more times then not. I find myself on the treadmill of day to day doings running as fast as I can and worry that I am missing the important things.

Am I too busy to smile at a stranger, my husband, my family, my friends, am I too busy to let someone cut in front of me while driving, do I give up the premium parking spot for a stranger who got there the same time, am I too busy to lend an ear to a friend, an elderly person, a child, a neighbor?

Am I always kind even when I am in a hurry, tired, stressed? Do I gossip in the guise of helping, to make myself feel better, to show I am in the know?

Am I helping myself lose weight and get healthy by taking the necessary step or am I looking for the quick fix? Am I frugel in my day to day living as I make decisions on my needs verses my wants? Do I think before reacting especially when I am taken off gaurd? Do I hinder myself because of fear, fear of failure, fear of being exposed, fear of the unknown?

Am I a light in other's lives or am I the cause of their stress? Am I kind to myself by getting enough sleep so that I can run and not be weary? Do I read my scriptures daily and pray daily to center myself and hear my Father in Heaven, to remember who I am, from where I came, why I am here, and where I want to go?

Can I endure to the end..........will I hear "Job well done"

Some days I think yes and most days I think no. Thank goodness for tomorrow's for repentence, for new starts, for knowing that my Savior lives, loves me, and died for my sins.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Can I do the little things?

Let me start off by saying my weight loss is coming along slow and steady. As that was what this blog was started for I thought I would add an update on that subject every now and then. I read that just losing 10% of your weight has extreme health benefits to one's health and that is the direction I am going. I will take little steady steps, enjoy the small successes and by doing so will experience the goal I am looking for.

In saying the above it brings me to my title, (Can I do the small things)? Looking for the grandious things in life I believe is the nature of humans. We are always looking for the complicated approaches, nothing can be simple and work.

One of the first things that comes to mind is when the children of Israel were in the desert and serpents were sent to bite them and those bitten died. Moses was told to set a serpent on a pole and all who looked upon it would live. There were those who had faith and looked and others who said, that cannot cure us, it's too simple so they turned away and died.

Or how about when we are asked to love our neighbors, live the golden rule, follow the Ten Commandments:

Thou shalt have no other gods before me, (money, clothes, vehicles, bigger house)
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image (can use the above worshiping
things rather then God)
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them (I will pay the credit
card when it comes in and this is such a good deal)

Thou shalt not take the name of thy Lord thy God in vain (GD this and GD that,
enough said)
Remember thy sabbath day and keep it Holy (A day of rest and to do good for
others,we have six days to do what we want)
Honor thy father and thy mother (This one is becoming less and less practiced
as we blame all of our ills on them, what they did or did not do for us)

Thou shalt not kill (This is pretty clear, yet what about killing the smile,
hopes,and confidence of others to build ourselves up)
Thou shalt not commit adultery (enough said)
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor (I think of gossip here)
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, wife nor his manservent, nor his ox,
nor his donkey nor anything else that is thy neighbors.(Jealousy is an ugly

Do I return kind words when sharpe words are spoken to me?
Do I work on bettering myself or look at other's faults to feel better about myself?
Do I whine over my lot in life or do I rejoice that I have life?
Do I place myself above others or treat all fairly?
Do I follow the Golden Rule?
Do I bring joy to others or gloom?

Do I do the little things each and everyday that will ready me for the bigger things or do I think I am deserving of more, bigger, better because of who I am?

I seem to dwell on the bigger things, those things that make the biggest impact and while those things can have there place we know it is the little things day in and day out that can make or break all relationships...marriage, friendship, families, businesses, neighborhoods, cities, states, our country and ultimately our salvation.

So again I ask, (Can I do the little things), day in and day out, I can honestly say I fall short each day and that each day I try again.

Go out and do the little will make your world a better place for all especially for you.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

What manner of Woman am I

There are so many additional questions and answers to the above question.

What manner of wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, neighbor, citizen, follower and example of the above am I.

Am I good wife, do I cherish my husband and our eternal marriage daily or only when things are as I want them to be, when all is going right?
Am I a mother only to Michael, Nikki, Kirsti, Rich and Tim or to all of the children I am in contact with and do I mother with love unconditionally, do I follow the spirit and my heart?
Am I a granmother only to Landon, Annika, Mikey, Brody, Kloe, Dega and the newest grandbaby who will be here in August or to all of the little one I come in contact with and am I a good example to them?
Am I a good daughter,loving and honoring my parents?
Am I a good sister there to help my siblings, love them, encourage them, a sister they know they can count on?
Am I a good friend ,do my friends ever question that?
Am I a good employee, giving 100% each and everyday I work?
Am I a good neighbor to all, do I know my neighbors, do they know me?
Am I a good citizen, taking an interest in what is going on in my city, state, country?
Am I a good follower of my Savior's example and in,(Do onto other's as you would have them do onto you), do I live that way, does it show?

As I think of these questions I am at first grief stricken in realizing that in many areas I fall short. I want to be, I try to be though put all together it seems an overwhelming task. There are many areas I excel in and many areas I struggle in though I think this is the human condition.

I am realzing that if in any of these areas I am filled with charity, selflessness and desire to do good I am able to accomplish good. That if I take each area as it comes with love in my heart I can be, (The Manner of Woman), I hope to be.

The more I realize that if I but make a small difference for good in any of the above areas the task is not daunting and my heart swells with joy. To know the Spirit is always there to help me if I will listen makes fullfilling all of who I am and want to be possible. To know that its the little things that matter most not the one time grand things it all seem that much more possible.

To smile, to listen, to be kind, to be present, not too busy, cry with, laugh with, hug, reach out and many, many more small things, doable things.
These are the things I strive for on a daily basis with prayer and the Spirit that help me to be, (The Manner of Woman), I hope and pray to be.

What Manner of Woman or Man are you?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Another wonderful week with pounds lost and lessons learned.

The pounds are coming off slowly which I keep hearing is the way they are suppose to come off so okay I will relax and let it happen. Down 6 pounds which is so much better then being up 6 pounds or not losing any at all. I'm making better eating choices and exercising each day in some fashion and that is working for me slowly, yet working all the same.

A great lesson I learned this last week deals with not letting others steal my joy, dampen my dreams or affect my attitude. How many times do we as a people let this happen? Someone cuts us off on our way to work and we get all mad letting it set the tone of our whole day. How many times do we let someone else's rudeness cause us to be rude in return? How many times do we let anything negative pull us in that direction?

As I pondered these thoughts it occurred to me that I can be a change agent. I can smile and make eye contact, I can let the car in, I can offer a sincere "have a good day" to the person who is rude, I can take a moment or a minute to bring joy to someone else's life. I can go about doing good and who knows it might actually help change the joy factor in someone else's life.

The best part of all is that I am the one who will be blessed as I have no doubt that by doing little acts of kindness I am the one who will be filled with joy!

So what do you say, lets all be the change agent, lets make our little part of the planet a better place filled with smiles and joy.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

So good to feel good

The last day of June and apparently not too soon with how rough this month has been for so many folks around the country, world and right here at home. My struggles/desire to lose weight is such a small struggle compared to what we are facing as a people in this day and time in history. Though I'm still working on it :0

This past week I was sick enough to end up in the hospital and was complaining the whole time about having to use my work personal time on being sick. Complaining about how this was such a waste of my valuable time, that I couldn't get anything constructive done....whine, whine, whine.

The lessons came fast, strong and sweet. Being sick showed me the compassion of others, (you know who you are and I love all of you for your kindness). Being sick showed me again what a wonderful man I am married to as I am not a great patient, (I know, hard to believe). Being sick showed me once again that I am not in control, when my body is at it's breaking point it shuts down no matter how hard I push.
Being sick taught me once again to be grateful for my health, for this wonderful body that God created and that I need to take better care of it.

With the heartache, stress, pain, confusion, loss and helplessness that so many have experienced these past couple of years, months, weeks,and days it's no wonder that for so many the light is dim, hope seems far away and the thought of helping others has given away to helping one's self. After all, if we don't take care of ourselves who will, times are tuff we don't have the time, money, energy, etc. to give a hand up, go out of our way to lessen another's burden, its hard enough taking care of ourselves. We are running as fast as we can after all........

Here is a lesson I have learned from others and have experienced for myself first hand. When I am feeling most down, most hopeless, most selfish, that life is unfair, I work hard, am a good person, it's just not fair.

I have a simple cure....

Reaching out to lessen another's burden. The best part is it doesn't have to be big, (a smile for the clerk behind the cash register, eye contact, letting a car cut in front of you, giving up the close parking space, holding the door for someone else, giving the benefit of the doubt rather then judging. Treating all that you come in contact with as a child of God and therefore having a divine birthright as that is who they are whether they remember it or not). Of course there are countless other things that amazingly lift my spirits and increase my smiles when I take the focus off of me.

Now I am not a great example of the above, remember I am still learning the lessons, yet I can tell you without a doubt that each time I remember and act upon this simple cure I am the one who benefits.

So lets reach out and lift each other, (it's like water, our burdens are lighter when we buoy each other up).

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I'm in week four and am down 5 pounds though I'm not thinking it's from my efforts, I'm sick today and feel like I lost at least 10 pounds. Not really the way I want to see the pounds come off, (LOL).I am losing inches from my daily work out and eating better, (my clothes are getting looser).

Thank goodness the apartment is so close as I would never have made the 1 hour drive home from work. What a horrible couple of hours I had at work before I was able to drive the few miles to the apartment. Thanks mom and Ed for taking such good care of me while I suffered there, I'm sure it wasn't pleasant for you.(Thanks for the clothes mom)

The past week was extremely busy as the kids moved out of the QC house and I moved back in. My brother is staying at the apartment with my mom so she is okay, truth be told he takes better care of her on a day to day basis then I do. At this time Rich and I are working to get the house back in order and are enjoying our time together. We are working through this journey called life together and learning how to best support each other, we are the eternal couple and as such desire to take care of each other on a day to day basis.

Life has been such a roller coaster these past 6 months and I'm sure the ride is not over yet. Not exactly the way I enjoy living though I am thinking there is a lesson here for me to learn and I keep fighting it so the lessons keep coming. What is the lesson you might be asking....(That I do not have control over everything as much as I fight to have it). I like my life orderly, predictable and adventureous as long as there is a safety net. Well, the past 6 months have not been orderly or predictable though I have had my safety net and maybe that is the control I know that there is always a safety net.

Too many times in life we give up just before......., we are prone to wanting things to be easy and when they aren't to giving up stating it's just too hard. I find that after going through the hard times I always look back and think, (It was worth it). The trouble is when the next hard thing comes along I tend to forget while I'm in the midst of my struggle. At least the fight to avoid the struggle keeps getting shorter as I do have the ah ha that there is probably a lesson here and to just stay still, not to make quick decision out of emotion.

For me this is huge and my wish for all of my family and friends is to not give up (just before) as there will always be struggles, failure, set backs, etc. before the big win.

Be the winner, it's so worth it.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Okay week two did not go as planned in the diet and exercise arena though the week ended on a high note of which I am thankful. I had ice cream, carbs and only exercised formally two days and today hasn't been much better. Dang those taste buds!!!!! Thank goodness tomorrow is another day as needing to lose the two lbs I lost last week as they found me, I guess I'm just irresistible to those adorable fat molecules, or they have a great GPS tracking devise. (LOL)

So this past week was a tough one for me as pressures that have been building decided to rear their ugly heads and I was in serious stress mode. So bad in fact that when I told my husband about it he said, "let me take you to the movies", (always relaxes me and I have been known to see three in a row), when I told him that even that wouldn't help he sat down and said, "oh man, not sure what to do if the the movies won't even help". I was able to talk through it with my mom and husband, work things out in my mind and devise a plan, (one must always have a plan), and then forge on,

Remember how I stated that I like my life to be that beautiful gift box with the beautiful bow and when the box is opened everything is neatly arranged? Remember when I stated that I am trying to go with the flow, see the big picture, realize that I am not in control? Haaaaaaa; should never had said that as once said the testing begins.

Now one thing I must say I live by is that it's okay to fall, to have a melt down and yes even to talk with the little people in my head, but then I get up, dust off my knees and forge on. To fall, fail, stumble, get knocked down, these are life experiences, its what we do when faced with these life experiences that make us who we are. Its not the failing that makes us failures, it's the not trying. For me sometimes I fall softly and the getting up is easy, once in awhile I fall hard and the breath gets knocked out of me. Those are the ones that throw me for a loop as I consider myself a strong woman who can handle anything. Those are the times I re asses, check for damage and rely on past experiences of my friends, family and my own that assure me that this too will pass. Oh yea, there is also that wonderful little saying... "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger".

I think too many times we humans are so worried about what other humans think of us, specifically that they will think less of us if we actually share our struggles that we put forth only our pretty, sunny, everything is great side of our lives. This of course perpetuates the self loathing. So I say to all of my friends out there who share their joys and struggles thank you, thank you for giving me the courage to be all that I am, to be able to share the good, bad and ugly.

We are here to help each other, to raise each other up, to give each other a hand, to be the light in the darkness. None of us know what its like to walk in another's shoes, what life experience have brought them where they are, So bravo to all of you that do not lift yourselves up by bringing others are my heroes!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Sunday, June 7th

So it has been one week and I have done so so. For the most part I have eaten well, exercised and cheated. Yes, I have eaten some pasta, buttered pop corn at the movies, and some sugar.

While I'm not as happy with myself as I want to be I'm going to be kind to myself. Tomorrow is another day and I will press forward with my journey. (I am down 2 pounds though).

As for my life I am learning much, actually more then I really want to though I know these are lessons I need to learn so that I will be the person I am hoping to become through this journey. I like my life to have order, (everything in it's place, always have a plan and a back up, goals written, dream big, hope for luck, work hard, everything nice, everything pretty), you know life in a nice little package.

What I am learning big time is that I really have no control outside of my reaction to the world around me. I can be frustrated that things aren't happening as I want them to or I can accept that I only have control over me, my thoughts and my actions. I can go through life in fear, frustrated, disappointed, always waiting for.........before I'll be happy, at peace, settled, can do....there are many many things that can get in my way of enjoying life minute by minute, day by day. But heck, I believe we are on this earth to have joy, experience many things, learn many things, share many things, help each other, dance and laugh.

Life happens and sometimes not the way I want it to which is why they call it life.... so along with losing those 30 lbs, whoops, (28lbs) I am on a journey to enjoy each day, to be happy, to stop being fearful of the economy, the gloom and doom I hear about everyday, the uncertainty I have been feeling for months now.

Heck I have a loving husband, wonderful family, great friends, a roof over my head, plenty to eat, my health, a job I love, my faith, the knowledge that Heavenly Father is aware of everything and that with him I can do anything, endure anything and just plain be thankful and happy. So that's my plan!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Night Before My Weight Loss Journey Begins

So for the past week I have been gearing up to do this, to get this extra 30 pounds I have been carrying around gone. It's always nice to have a reason and my dad's big 75th birthday in October is it for me. All of the family from around the country will be there and I do not want anyone saying......boy, she got fat.

Now I have lots of wonderful things going for me, I am healthy, happily married and have a wonderful family, (now I didn't say perfect...just wonderful). I have great friends, a job I love, a testimony of where I came from and where I want to go, I try to keep the eternal perspective though the day to day living sometimes crowds in. For the most part I am a very positive person who wants the best for myself and actually every one of God's childern and we're all God's children so please everyone be happy :).

I will update this blog daily with thoughts and how the daily battle of eating and exercising is going. I see this journey to lose the 30 pounds as only one part of what it is I am trying to accomplish. My greatest desire is that when I leave this earth, I will have lived a full life, that all I came in contact with are a little better because of it and that I will be welcomed home with the words, "job well done".