Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Imperfections

So its been a couple of weeks since I've blogged as I spent last week in San Diego with my hubby, brother Brian and his love Tina.This week I'm adjusting back to my everyday life.

I have been thinking these past two weeks that as hard as I try each day I fall short of perfection. This blog started out as my journey to lose weight and that isn't happening. Each day I am determined to be a better person then the day before, to be frugel, to eat better, to think before I react, to not judge others, to not live in fear, to be kind, to not gossip, to be a light in other's lives, to get enough sleep, to exercise, to study, to read my scriptures, to pray, to be in this world, yet not of this world.

The thing is I get caught up in the day to day everyday. Oh sure there are days I do better then others, yet I find myself coming up short more times then not. I find myself on the treadmill of day to day doings running as fast as I can and worry that I am missing the important things.

Am I too busy to smile at a stranger, my husband, my family, my friends, am I too busy to let someone cut in front of me while driving, do I give up the premium parking spot for a stranger who got there the same time, am I too busy to lend an ear to a friend, an elderly person, a child, a neighbor?

Am I always kind even when I am in a hurry, tired, stressed? Do I gossip in the guise of helping, to make myself feel better, to show I am in the know?

Am I helping myself lose weight and get healthy by taking the necessary step or am I looking for the quick fix? Am I frugel in my day to day living as I make decisions on my needs verses my wants? Do I think before reacting especially when I am taken off gaurd? Do I hinder myself because of fear, fear of failure, fear of being exposed, fear of the unknown?

Am I a light in other's lives or am I the cause of their stress? Am I kind to myself by getting enough sleep so that I can run and not be weary? Do I read my scriptures daily and pray daily to center myself and hear my Father in Heaven, to remember who I am, from where I came, why I am here, and where I want to go?

Can I endure to the end..........will I hear "Job well done"

Some days I think yes and most days I think no. Thank goodness for tomorrow's for repentence, for new starts, for knowing that my Savior lives, loves me, and died for my sins.